It’s a superb factor to set excessive requirements for your self and others, however perfectionism takes this manner too far.
You find yourself anticipating manner an excessive amount of, setting the bar so excessive that nobody might ever attain them. This results in failure and unfavourable behavioral patterns, particularly in relationships.
Right here’s how you can find yourself ruining yours.
You may have an unrealistic thought of how issues are speculated to be
You count on every thing in your relationship to be sunshine and rainbows. You don’t like when issues go improper, like once you combat, as a result of this bursts your bubble of idealism. You assume your associate is meant to be a sure manner and this expectation is driving a wedge between you two. You may have unrealistic expectations of your associate that they’ll by no means meet.
You don’t do properly with adjustments in plans
You need issues to be simply so and any variations from the plan completely freak you out. You’re positively not one to be spontaneous. In actual fact, spontaneity form of freaks you out. In case your associate tries to spring a shock on you or change the plans, you don’t deal with it properly. It is because you wish to have some semblance of management over conditions.
You examine your relationship to different individuals’s
Your relationship isn’t sufficient, particularly once you’re stacking it towards what you assume another person’s is like. Actually, you don’t have any thought what different individuals’s relationships are like on a day-to-day foundation, but you’ll be able to’t assist however to want yours was extra like theirs. You assume that you simply two are doing one thing improper as a result of it doesn’t look nearly as good.
5. You count on perfection out of your associate
Not solely do you count on perfection from your self, but it surely seeps over into what you count on out of your associate, too. When your associate makes a mistake you’re actually laborious on them identical to you might be on your self. You virtually count on them by no means to make errors as a result of issues needs to be as good as potential. In the meantime, you’re additionally making errors.
You retain rating
At any time when your associate does one thing improper, you recall it. You may have an inventory of issues they’ve achieved improper and also you return to that listing typically. You employ this as ammo once you make a mistake, coming again to all of the issues your associate has achieved or not achieved to make use of towards them. You additionally act passive-aggressively about their errors.
You attempt to management your associate
Whether or not it’s what your associate wears or who they hang around with, you attempt to have a hand in making these selections. You assume that greatest even when it’s not your life. This drives a associate bonkers as a result of they’re simply making an attempt to do their very own factor. Your lack of ability to let go and allow them to reside their life would be the downfall of you two.
You’re are fast to criticize
You’ve acquired issues all mapped out in your head. You may have an thought of what every thing is meant to appear like and when issues go awry you aren’t joyful. You criticize your associate typically, leaving them feeling fairly crummy about themselves. Usually you’ve gotten the perfect of intentions, but your execution communicates solely criticism.